Bittersweet
by EvanescentBeauty
Summary: Luna talks with Harry about the death of Sirius, the ordeal at the Ministry, and if they'll still be friends after the summer.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter, or any of the characters affiliated. This piece of literature is written for entertainment purposes and is non-profitable. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and Scholastic. **

**A/N:** _PLEASE NOTE_ that I'm writing this from the BOOK scene, not the movie, so she is talking to him about her mother at the _end _of the story, not the beginning. But since I am lazy, my writing may sort of float over to the movie version from time to time. This includes dialogue and actions, and sometimes I even put stuff from the movie AND book. Please don't flame me for "floating". It was only recently that I became a Luna/Harry shipper and I especially liked the part at the end of the book where Luna was telling Harry about the death of her mother (and is also one of my favorite scenes in the movie). I SERIOUSLY wanted to elaborate on that, so this is my version of that scene, not that the scene wasn't written fantabulously by itself. I hope you enjoy this. My best regards, - EvanescentBeauty.

* * *

"Hello," said Luna vaguely as a gloomy Harry rounded the corner of the Fat Lady's corridor. Luna was posting up lists of possessions to a board on the wall that were, from the note scribbled at the bottom of the paper, apparently missing.

"What's that?" asked Harry, frowning.

"Oh," said Luna in a soft voice. "That. People have been taking my things all year and it's really starting to pile up. Now that it's the last day, I really do need them back."

"That's horrible!" exclaimed Harry. "Why do they take your stuff?"

"Well, some people think I'm a bit odd...I've even heard people call me 'Loony' from time to time..."

Harry felt an awful feeling of guilt for himself calling her 'Loony' at one point, and sympathy for her boil in the pit of his stomach. She was just a little--what was the word--eccentric. But none of them had seen her at the Department of Mysteries...none of _them _had fought Voldemort with him.

"That's no reason to take your things," he said flatly.

"Oh, it's all good fun," she assured him dreamily. "They always come back in the end. I wanted to pack tonight, is all. Anyway...why aren't _you _at the feast?"

Harry shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."

"No," said Luna, gazing at him with her large eyes. "I don't suppose you do. That man the Death Eaters killed was your godfather, wasn't he? Ginny told me."

Harry nodded curtly, but noted that he didn't mind talking with Luna about Sirius.

"I'm sorry," she said in a low voice. She reached out and took his hand in hers, giving him a small, friendly smile. Harry squeezed her cool fingers slightly before she let go.

"Have you..." he began. "I mean, who . . . has anyone you've known ever died?"

"Yes," said Luna simply. "my mother. She was quite an extraordinary witch, you know, but she did like to experiment and one of her spells went rather badly wrong one day. I was nine."

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled.

"Yes, it was rather horrible," replied Luna conversationally. "I still feel very sad about it sometimes. But I've still got Dad."

There was an awkward silence as she moved quietly along the walls, posting up more signs.

"But it must be worse for you," she said. "You don't have a father...or a mother."

Harry didn't bother nodding. He knew that he had no parents. Everyone in the entire world knew he had no parents.

"Of course," she continued. "it's different in your case...you have friends that you are extremely close to."

The pang of guilt was back.

"You have friends now," he said.

"Yes, I suppose you're right...but what happens next year when all of you have had time to adjust to the fact that I'm still--what was it--odd?"

"_I'll_ be your friend," Harry assured her passionately. "After what you did at the Ministry?"

"Will you be friends with Neville?" she asked shrewdly. Harry blinked.

"Of course," he replied. Luna looked at him with her orb-like eyes that made her seem a bit like a bug, but now they were mysterious and narrowed.

"Don't say it unless you mean it," she said quietly.

"I mean it," he said quickly. "I promise."

Her lips curled into a thin smile. "You're a good person, Harry," she said. "And a great wizard. I'm not surprised the Dark Lord is after you."

Harry didn't know quite what to say to that. Instead, he found himself blurting out his next words without even thinking.

"I'm scared."

Luna did not assure him that it was going to be alright, like Harry would have expected. What she said next was, instead, very refreshing to hear.

"And with good reason, I'm afraid," she replied gently. "But at least now you have more people behind you."

"Yeah," scoffed Harry. "You mean like Fudge?"

"No," she said. "But at least the entire wizarding community's not against you anymore...people will be taking more security measures instead of ignorantly stumbling out into the world like they were doing before all of this."

"If Voldemort wants to kill someone, a 'security measure' isn't going to do much good," he said grimly, folding his arms.

"_You've_ stayed safe," she pointed out, still not looking at him. "Ouch!" She brought her forefinger to her mouth and sucked on it gently.

"What is it?" asked Harry. "Thumbtack?"

"Nargles," she hissed, looking around the room expectantly. "They've got a bite."

Harry exhaled gently, not even bothering to ask what nargles were anymore.

"Anyway," she said, posting her last paper on the wall. "_Most _of us have managed to stay safe. We all survived at the Ministry."

She turned to him for the second time during the whole conversation.

"I think much fewer of us would have returned to Hogwarts if you hadn't started the D.A., Harry," she said. "There wasn't one spell I used that you hadn't taught me. If we'd continued reading Umbridge's books . . . I don't think we'd've survived."

Harry blinked, thoroughly surprised. "Well . . . thank you?"

"You're welcome," she said, closing her eyes and inclining her head. "And your godfather was even more talented. That Lestrange woman just appeared out of nowhere, according to Ginny. Everything was happening so fast, Harry . . . we all had very little time to react to anything."

"Luna," he began quickly. "I haven't told anyone this..."

She said nothing, but turned to face him completely, her face blank and her right hand holding her left forearm at her waist. Harry looked down at the ground.

"If it's a trust issue you're worried about," Luna said slowly. "I can keep a secret."

"I know," Harry assured her. "I just..."

He paused, and rubbed the back of his neck. Finally, he spoke.

"I used the Cruciatus curse on Bellatrix Lestrange."

The only change in emotion that Harry could see was that Luna blinked slowly and looked down at the ground.

"I didn't . . .know...what I was doing," Harry began, desperately searching for the right words.

"You don't have to explain it to me," said Luna dreamily. "Anger drives us to do things that we wouldn't normally do."

Harry blinked. This was not the reply he had been expecting.

"You don't..._care _that I performed an illegal spell?"

"Did it work?" asked Luna vaguely.

"N-no, but--"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well, that's not the point! I _tried _to, didn't I?" he exclaimed.

She smiled slightly, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "She had it coming." Harry couldn't gather up the energy to smile, but he nodded slightly. She put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"What's done is done, Harry," she said. "No one holds it against you."

"But...I shouldn't have," he muttered. "That curse...it's _evil_, Luna, there's no other word for it. You have no _idea _how horrible it is . . .last year, Voldemort..." his voice cracked and broke off. Luna looked down at the floor. Harry felt tears coming to his eyes, and he wiped them away quickly. Then, Luna did an incredible thing. She leaned in and hugged him. It wasn't romantic, it wasn't suggestive...it was Luna being a friend, and Harry appreciated this more than anything else. Harry stood there, stunned for a few moments before leaning in and wrapping his arms around her.

"I just...feel," began Harry as she pulled away. "Like everything is gone... there's nothing left out there to live for."

"It'll be like that for a while," said Luna in a melancholy voice that did nothing to help Harry feel better. "But once it's over, you'll have a new kind of strength inside of you."

"I don't _want _a new kind of strength," growled Harry, his blood beginning to boil again. "I want to have Sirius back."

"Life is cruel," said Luna as way of a reply.

"Thanks for the news flash," snarled Harry moodily. "It's absolutely mental, though . . . the only way anyone ever listens to you is if you make some great sacrifice. If somebody gets killed or a building blows up or someone gets hurt. You start to care too much and then you ..." His voice trailed away, as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground.

"Frankly, it's not all the people," she said. "The way Fudge was portryaing it all, you really did seem like a crazy old madman with no sense of direction...he'll be getting the sack any day now," Luna assured him. "Don't worry about him, Harry. It's not worth your time."

Harry nodded slowly. Luna said nothing, and they stood in silence for quite some time. Finally, she spoke.

"Are you hungry?" she asked quietly. He shook his head.

"Are you sure?" she continued. "I'm sure some of that end-of-the-year pudding ought to cheer you up a bit."

"No, Luna," he sighed. "You go on ahead...I'm sure I'll just depress everyone anyway, and I want to be alone."

"Having your friends around will start the healing process," pointed out Luna. "But I do suppose you need your time. See you."

"See you later, Luna," he said as she turned around and skipped off down the hall and around the corner.

He began to walk toward the Gryffindor common room, fully ready to go and sulk right along to the Gryffindor common room. But something deep inside of him stopped. He turned around slowly to face the lit passageway where Luna had gone down and for the first time since Sirius had died . . .

. . . smiled.


End file.
